Racer example:
Sex toy drag racing is a public exhibition of various sexual implements engaged in thrilling display of speed, prowess and sheer glistening muscl-y animal magnitude.
Your challenge is to modify a personal pleasure enhancement device to race a 1/4 mile (scale) track. Classes will be assigned to each racer. Racers will compete in the same class. Example: Crotch Rocket class, four AAA batteries max, no ticklers. Example: Edible class, wheels and a mass that does not prohibit the plausible use of the object as your personal short term savior, (no watermelons.)
An unlimited class will allow
any racer to take on any other challenger regardless of class assignment. Example:
The Buttplug of Larry Craig class: unlimited. Classes may
be created day of race, depending upon what you
show up with. We’re alright
with trying something new.
As with the Seattle Power Tool Drag Races, the competition will be judged by biased, corrupt and drunken peers. Any and all factors, fair, unfair and otherwise, may be used to influence the outcome and or the morally pliable judges. All's fair in love and sextoy racing.
A pit area, pit crew, hypoallergenic and age appropriate tools and sexy studs and bitches will be on-hand to help you get your battery-pal into tip top racing condition.
Racers should show up at the race in an attractive and race ready state, dubious stains, odors, or excessive drunkenness will be grounds
for an immediate "get the fuck outta here!"
Prizes of a very adult nature, (the grand prize trophy weighing not less than fifty pounds) will be awarded to winners and their owners.
We will not discriminate on entrants based on size, race, gender, or orientation and neither should you.
The first heat starts around
2:30 p.m., and we’ll race till our batteries die.
Location:
Wild Rose Tavern
1021 E Pike St
Seattle, WA 98122-3818
Here we are demonstrating a basic vibrator motivated racer.
The vibe touching the wheel base and ground is the “engine.”
It’s seriously lacking style, and is not yet “worthy.”
Track Specs
The track is 10’ long.
The track will be flat for racers that can motivate themselves.
The track will be elevated for gravity-based, wheeled racers with no self-motivation.
And perhaps, if you need that much extra help, we’ll see if we can slope,
lubricate and vibrate the track for you to cross the finish line. As in real life, if you are committed and stay in the game, you’ll get there eventually!
We’ll supply extension cords for those that are dependent upon 110 volts to get off,
and charging stations for cordless devices.
Time left to build up your favorite privates pirate:
click HAZARDFACTORY.ORG for more info, and a contact us page
Hazardfactory presents The Seattle Sextoy Drag Races 2009 / sex toy drag racing
Stand back! We don’t know how big this thing gets!
1st Place or
“Best in Show” trophy
is a 50 pound metal sculpture!